hello is it just me or is it really too much to handle?
okay, it's just me.
or not.
or yes.
or no.
or yes.
can i hide somewhere and not show up for five years then show up again
Sunday, 24 June 2018
Friday, 12 January 2018
I'm listening to The Little Prince's soundtrack whilst tidying up my room.
So clouded with these emotions and thoughts, I find a desperate need to clean up my thoughts as well.
Looked at them, then myself.
Didn't understand how did things end up this way. Didn't understand why did it have to be so hard.
Had been in a very idle-passive mode, and slowly shutting all doors.
Had a fight, knew things were going to turn south if I were to reacted like that.
I knew it, but I did it anyway. And then, the guilt accompanied with it.
Then looked at ourselves, wondered if it's really worth the fight.
It's difficult to lift up your spirits when really, you're so consumed by hatred.
I can tear up so easily recently. Just a snap of a finger.
Why do we inflict so much pain to the living, and only let go when they are dead?
So clouded with these emotions and thoughts, I find a desperate need to clean up my thoughts as well.
Looked at them, then myself.
Didn't understand how did things end up this way. Didn't understand why did it have to be so hard.
Had been in a very idle-passive mode, and slowly shutting all doors.
Had a fight, knew things were going to turn south if I were to reacted like that.
I knew it, but I did it anyway. And then, the guilt accompanied with it.
Then looked at ourselves, wondered if it's really worth the fight.
It's difficult to lift up your spirits when really, you're so consumed by hatred.
I can tear up so easily recently. Just a snap of a finger.
Why do we inflict so much pain to the living, and only let go when they are dead?
Monday, 1 January 2018
thank you for your time
it's been a month since I started my first internship as an occupational therapist, and yes, at the age of 24.
it has been nothing but rewarding, with supervisors that are always ready to teach and children that are always look so cute haha wtf.
the technical part:
basically i'm there to just support my supervisors in sessions, i will be briefed of what to expect from the children, their behaviours, what not to do in the sessions, and the planned-activities in the session.
As a multi-disciplinary team, i've be granted opportunities to join in sessions with different disciplines, music and speech therapies. Eye opener, indeed, on how creative therapists could get with different sessions, at the same time, keeping their focus on goals they wish to achieve together.
the not-so technical part:
Grownups, in my opinion, lack of confidence in children, thinking that the things that they can achieve is limited. So when we see them facing obstacles, be it as big as solving problems, or small matters like opening a bottle cap. We lack the patience when we see them work, we hate waiting, don't we. We just can't bear the sight of seeing a child struggling with the tasks on his hand and we're always so kind to intervene with their current activities, thinking that "i'm an adult, i am obliged to help the young and the weak". I'm proved wrong in the first few sessions as I have just stripped their chance to talk/ to play/ to learn. We're so proud, aren't we? Often we underestimate the child's abilities and in a way, restricting them from learning freely.
Also, flexibility, yes, that's the word. I've learned that it's okay if things don't go as planned, it's okay to listen and follow their wants or ideas. Because, why not? There's this sentence whereby my supervisors like to say, "what's your plan?", which I find really intriguing and ... refreshing? Well, of course! You must have a plan, haven't you? Or else why wouldn't you oblige to what we have just asked you to do, and yes, of course it's fine if the child has his own plans if he thinks that it's better than what we have suggested. Again, flexibility, and openness to ideas, because you're not always right, right? Yes, it takes time, but i promise you, it's worth all the wait.
Special kids. After having the exposure working with them, I find it almost rude to think that they are any different than we are. They are anything but different from the typical people. They too, have their ups and downs, personalities, tantrums, good and bad, also, compassionate, empathetic, quirky, cheeky. It takes a lot of patience to slow down to match their pace, but at most times, they are just like us. In a bubble, perhaps, a bubble that's so comforting and peaceful, they might not want to break it.
If i were to gain anything from these months, it's flexibility and keeping your options open. It has been nothing but fruitful and rewarding. I don't regret putting my job on a halt and landed on this non-paying job. Moving forward, I pray that I don't forget this wonderful time I experienced, retaining the tenacity developed from this period of time and most importantly, not forgetting how i felt with the therapists, children and families - be empathetic and flexible.
So, what's your plan?
it has been nothing but rewarding, with supervisors that are always ready to teach and children that are always look so cute haha wtf.
 |
| Lake District, 2015 |
the technical part:
basically i'm there to just support my supervisors in sessions, i will be briefed of what to expect from the children, their behaviours, what not to do in the sessions, and the planned-activities in the session.
As a multi-disciplinary team, i've be granted opportunities to join in sessions with different disciplines, music and speech therapies. Eye opener, indeed, on how creative therapists could get with different sessions, at the same time, keeping their focus on goals they wish to achieve together.
the not-so technical part:
Grownups, in my opinion, lack of confidence in children, thinking that the things that they can achieve is limited. So when we see them facing obstacles, be it as big as solving problems, or small matters like opening a bottle cap. We lack the patience when we see them work, we hate waiting, don't we. We just can't bear the sight of seeing a child struggling with the tasks on his hand and we're always so kind to intervene with their current activities, thinking that "i'm an adult, i am obliged to help the young and the weak". I'm proved wrong in the first few sessions as I have just stripped their chance to talk/ to play/ to learn. We're so proud, aren't we? Often we underestimate the child's abilities and in a way, restricting them from learning freely.
Special kids. After having the exposure working with them, I find it almost rude to think that they are any different than we are. They are anything but different from the typical people. They too, have their ups and downs, personalities, tantrums, good and bad, also, compassionate, empathetic, quirky, cheeky. It takes a lot of patience to slow down to match their pace, but at most times, they are just like us. In a bubble, perhaps, a bubble that's so comforting and peaceful, they might not want to break it.
If i were to gain anything from these months, it's flexibility and keeping your options open. It has been nothing but fruitful and rewarding. I don't regret putting my job on a halt and landed on this non-paying job. Moving forward, I pray that I don't forget this wonderful time I experienced, retaining the tenacity developed from this period of time and most importantly, not forgetting how i felt with the therapists, children and families - be empathetic and flexible.
So, what's your plan?
 |
| Cinque Terre, 2015 |
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